I need advice.

Okay, so I had my first dating experience the other day, and cut it off after a day. I’m getting mixed responses about what I did—some think I was totally right, others that I’m too touchy.

I’ll explain the situation first. I’ve know this boy in orchestra for the entire semester, but rarely talked to him. We’d occasionally share a stand. I was attracted to him because he seemed very, very respectful of me and not into the drinking, partying crowd, which is something hard to find in a boy. Anyway, he asked me if I wanted to go to a festival last week, with the understanding that some friends would be there, that I did know through orchestra. He wanted to know if he could leave his violin in my room, and I was like, “Okay…” He didn’t pull anything then, but I noticed when we were walking there no one else was coming, and he said we would meet them there, which never happened. So that was very deceiving.

Anyway, after the festival, and after he’d been grabbing my hand the entire time, we sat down together to talk about unrelated stuff. And then he took my hand and held it. I wasn’t opposed to it because, as I already explained, I was attracted to him. He asked me if I was feeling “it” and I said, “Yes, sure.” And then if this was “a start” and I said that it was, but realistically we’d only know each other for four months, because I was going abroad after that. (He’s five years older than me and will be grading with a masters’.) He said yes, and I took this as, okay—so we will enjoy each others company, recognize something is there, but not have it develop into a serious relationship. We held hands the way back, and that seemed innocent enough, so I didn’t mind.

The first red flag went off after, only knowing me for, combined with orchestra, etc, at the most twelve hours, he posts on his facebook page that he is “in a relationship.” I didn’t contact him until he contacted me—he wanted to go to this university Thanksgiving dinner. I accepted. However, he again manipulated me by having me come forty minutes before it started. He then brought me to a sofa I the LBC, where I sat down expecting to talk about stuff. While on the sofa, he’s all over me. He’s touching my neck, stroking me hair, getting like a foot away from my face with his, holding my hand and pulling me next to him. And for seriously the ENTIRE time I’m either moving away, explaining that I’m not used to stuff like this, which he says “sorry!” takes his hand away, and returns it in thirty seconds, or moves closer when I move away. I tried to start a conversation, but he wasn’t interested. I felt like all he wanted was to touch me like a doll, and that I was nothing past that.

Okay, on the sofa I realized two things 1) I’m not physically attracted to him—his face made me nauseous and 2) that I had a misconception believing he respected women. In my opinion, he was moving way too fast for any “dating” relationship, and not respecting my desire for him to move the hell away. Sure, I could have made a scene and slapped him, got up and left, etc, and now I’m wondering why I didn’t. I guess I didn’t want to make a scene, really.

While there, I explained to him that I was very conservative, would not have sex before marriage, and would never kiss him because before I kiss something I’m going to need to be VERY comfortable with them. I just don’t give myself out. And I’m not going to be that comfortable in a semester. Okay, the first thing I told him was the sex—he said he was disappointed, but that it was okay—and THEN I told him the kissing thing. He paused, and began to make the argument that, “Well, the thing about relationships is they are a comp..” but caught himself, and replaced it with, “As long as you are comfortable.”

Right when dinner was served, I told him he needed to get up and go inside. I did, really embarrassed that I’d been on a couch with a boy relentlessly trying to touch me in public. While at the dinner, he asked me if it was okay if he introduced me as his girlfriend. Before answering, I asked if he wanted to talk about this outside. He said no, so I told him (in front of people) we need to just be friends, etc and he went pale and said why don’t we talk about it later. Well, I left early from the dinner and asked him if we did want to talk about it before I left outside, and he said no.

I sent him an email, then, explaining that there was no relationship, that he clearly wants things I’m unwilling to give, that he was moving way too fast, and that I took “it’s a start” as getting to casually know each other for as long as we could. He responded with a message saying that I was right, and that we need to meet “tomorrow morning” and talk about how we can work this out and keep the relationship. Annoyed, I sent him another email which was, summarized: “Did you read my last email? No relationship. It never even existed. Friendship only.” And told him I’d appreciate if he returned some of my sheet music, leaving it at this one front desk, because I didn’t feel comfortable around him alone. He hasn’t bothered to, yet, and I might have to contact the conductor to get him to.

I guess I felt really, really taken advantage of, and even molested in a way. I’ve never been around a boy like that before, and was saving myself for someone who respected me for my personality, not my looks, hair, or whatever he could get his hands on. And the fact he was so casual about it just boils me. I really, really hate him. I feel like going back on my work about being “friends” after this and just removing him from facebook, exiling him entirely.

Can you folks give me some perceptive?

Do you read when you shit? What do you read?

What news story from a different country then your own did you/do you find fascinating?

Surprise! Your roommate/significant other/parents/RA/whatever just kicked you out, and you have to move in with someone from AMA!

Who is it, and why? Are you compatible or is it an odd couple scenario?

If you have to call out sick from work do you feel like a jerkface? Will you tell me about the last time you had to call out sick?


Inspired by my lack of voice, burning throat, and nose that has gone through three boxes of tissues in the last 12 hours and the fact that my boss' "oh...okay." when I called her to let her know I wouldn't be in today made me feel like a jerk.

Do you feel as if people with money have a better chance of getting into better colleges than those without?

Why?

How can I deal with a co-worker who makes it extremely difficult for me to do my job? Management won't do anything about said co-worker because she's been with the organization forever and a day, and outranks them in terms of seniority (but she has chosen not to be a manager; she could be if she wanted to).

And yes, I know that "Find another job" is an option. Believe me, I'm trying.

Does anyone have a video camera with a harddrive? I've played with a few at work and love it in concept because you just drag and drop your finished video out of the camera onto your computer. So little work compared to mini-dv, and so freaking fast. I'm just wondering how they hold up!

Specifically, I'm thinking of going with a JVC Everio sometime soon.


Bonus question: How do you tend to use your video camera? What sort of things do you record, what do you do with the video? What is your xtube account?

What did you do for your 18th birthday?

What would you name your kid after if you knew it meant you would get one for free?